Tuesday, June 8, 2010


When we feel all is lost, we have faith. If I did not have faith, I could not have survived these two weeks. Nor go on another day. Through my faith I know that we will see Ashley again, but the human weakness of missing her is so great. So strong.

As I struggle, I come back time and again to the words Father Joseph spoke at her funeral, "We must take care as we grieve and mourn, not to let the darkness and sadness of death have the last word." I am profoundly grateful for the five-plus years we shared in her beautiful life. And I am comforted in recalling our conversations regarding faith, and my knowledge that she was close to God. But still, I miss her so . . .

I have no doubt that Ashley is aware of our struggles and sadness. I believe she was speaking directly to us a few days ago when I found this in an old, old book of poems that has been a favorite of Kyle's and mine since his childhood. Ashley bookmarked the page and in her own handwriting noted the title of the poem . . .

God's Will For Us
Just to be tender, just to be true;
Just to be glad the whole day through;
Just to be merciful, just to be mild;
Just to be trustful as a child;
Just to be gentle and kind and sweet;
Just to be helpful with willing feet;
Just to be cheery when things go wrong;
Just to drive sadness away with a song,
Whether the hour is dark or bright;
Just to be loyal to God and right;
Just to believe that God knows best;
Just in His promise ever to rest;
Just to let love be our daily key:
This is God's will, for you and me.

I promise you dear Ashley, I will try ever so hard to remember these words you have given us. I love you darling. Forever.